Everything in between

Trials and Errors – Just gotta keep trying!

Everything started with a first step: my PhD in New Zealand, my relationship with Blair, our first house. Everything started because I believed it would work. Next step: My personal cook business!

So, I decided to start my own business.

After many months of ruminating the idea inside my head, I decided to go for it.

As usual, the fear of failing at something lingers in the back of my head and somehow what used to be easy for me (to jump into an opportunity or to take the first step at doing something new) has become harder with age.

I don’t know if it has anything to do with age, though.

I believe it’s more about my fear of trying yet another thing and not making it. If you’ve been following my posts since I set up this page, you will understand why.

But I am grateful for (still) having the support of my fiance, his family and my family. They all seem to see something in me that I fail to see most of the time.

All my life, I’ve felt that I never had much passion for what I was doing. I was given a task and I’d complete it. I’d put my heart in it until it was done, but then I could move on to the next thing, actually eager to start something new. Continuation has always been something of a struggle.

But I love to write, to tell stories, to talk to people and to socialize. And from my family, I learned that food was always the best excuse to either visit someone, go out with friends, or to host friends.

Hosting friends became huge for me after I moved to NZ: new place, new friends, new food – or same old food but cooked in a different way.

A long time ago, I managed a restaurant for three years.
Yes. I was a restaurant manager… for 3 years. I got a degree in Business Management and that’s what I went off to do after I finished my Masters in Forest Science.
Yes, it seems that I was wandering, experimenting lots of things, jobs to find my calling.
However, I didn’t like management. I had the upsetting job of firing people, among other tasks.

The business did pretty well. We started off with one restaurant and by the end of the third year, we sold it along with its three branches and catering service. I wanted to get out of it and pursue an academic career in Forestry or Ecology.

Dealing with employees and suppliers (and some clients) had become a nightmare.

Plus, I didn’t have any holidays for three years. I was exhausted. 😔

But cooking remained a passion to me, especially cooking for friends and for Blair. Cooking for my family is a whole different case. They are overcritical of what anybody else makes, and whenever I had a chance to cook for them, I always felt judged. So, not much fun. However, it felt good when my mom complimented some of my dishes last time we went to Brazil on holidays (2 years ago). Recipes that I got from her, yes, but with my own personal final touch.

So, after conversing with Blair for quite sometime, then with his parents, with my parents and some friends, I decided to give it a go. Take a leap of faith in my cooking skills and start my own business.

It is scary. I am terrified of being judged, ridiculed, and of making mistakes. These are the root of my anxiety attacks.

But I feel that with the support and trust of my loved ones, I can once again try something new. Well, new-ish since I have some experience in the food service industry. At least, this time, there won’t be anyone for me to fire 🤣

There’s no harm in trying. The biggest failure is to not try.

But most importantly, it’s something that my sister said (well, she sent me a video via Whatsapp) that words (or thoughts) carry the energy necessary to make us succeed or fail. Watch your thoughts, what you say, and you will get what you deserve.

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